Chapter Four: Making the jump from here to there

Alright then, we’ve got an idea, the basics for our plan, we’ve done some shopping for a fifth wheel, and a truck, so now we’re ready to start the journey to get to that full-timing nirvana.

So where to begin? Well, that depends on how you approach the process.

Some people will travel part of the year and then go home for the remainder.

Some people will keep some stuff in storage that they simply can’t part with and come back to it after getting off the road.

Some people will travel part of the year and then retreat to a lot that they lease or purchase in a dedicated RV park.

Some people will get rid of pretty much everything, just simply go, and deal with where they will ultimately end up later.

I am a member of the last group. I’m the type that doesn’t put much emotion into an object. Some things do serve as a reminder of certain places, times, or things that happened. But if you boil it right down, they are just things, objects. The memory of going somewhere or doing something is in my head. I don’t need a widget to remember a certain memory. It’s already stored away in the ole noggin.

I also am really tired of living in Mel-Boring and want to live someplace different. Whatever the definition of different is, we’ll see. Florida is wonderful and all that, but what about mountains, or desert, or Midwest, or ??? I can’t believe super flat and always swampy is the end-all of places to live.

For the last year or two, it’s been a steady effort to get rid of 90-something percent of everything in the house. The ’goes with me’ pile is very small and is comprised of things that I will use while on the road. I’m also purposely not keeping anything of any major value since a fifth wheel isn’t exactly Fort Knox. So I’m going into this with the idea that anything of any major value could grow legs and walk away. I mean it’s not like I own an antique jewel encrusted left-handed bacon stretcher that was made in the early 1500’s.

The other thing is that since I’m not leaving anything here when I leave, I won’t need a storage unit. That’s on purpose as I don’t want a monthly rent charge to store stuff. I could very easily spend more storing a batch of stuff than it’s worth. There’s a definite point where it’s cheaper to get rid of it all and then re-buy some things later on if needed or wanted.

I recently slowed down a little in the downsize effort as I’m almost to the point where I actively use every item left in the house. Getting rid of more at this point would probably mean sitting on the floor while watching TV or eating. My running joke is that if a burglar were to break in, they would be unbelievably disappointed.

I have built up an extremely detailed plan of action in the form of a Word document that spells out exactly what needs to happen and when. I don’t know if anyone else does this sort of thing in the jump-off process, but I find that it really helps me stay on track and plan better. My plan ends about 2 or 3 weeks after I leave and it’s kind of unnerving to see the blank area after the last entry. That marks the beginning of the time where I begin to make it up as I go. Definitely a mindset change.

I’ve also put together an Excel spreadsheet of what I believe to be a projected monthly budget and have even gone so far as to bounce those numbers against another spreadsheet of what my projected retirement income will be. You know me, leave nothing to chance.

So based on the above, one could surmise that I have a specific date for jumping off. Well, I do. That date goes hand in hand with things like selling the house and retiring from work. I don’t want to publish that date right now for several reasons, but let’s just say that it’s less than 3 years. I’ll be far more specific once it gets to the point where it doesn’t change anything to let it out. I’ll probably let it out sometime early next year (however, if you see me and ask I will probably tell you, there are just too many unknown eyes reading this).

So this is also the point where I get the house all gussied up for sale. Make everything pretty and shiny so I can get maximum purchase price without sinking a ton of money into the place. Yes, I do watch the real estate market like a hawk. I also follow the housing value trends very closely. I’ve even researched and found the best time of the year to put a house on the market to get the best price. So far everything has gone in a positive direction, but that could change and I need to know if anything even so much as sneezes.

The other big item is my old truck. It really is on its last legs and failing fast. The tires are getting really quite shiny and I don’t take it out on the highway anymore if I don’t have to. It’s got just shy of 250,000 miles on it and it’s making some interesting noises every now and then. Needless to say I don’t want to put one more dime into it. I can almost picture in my mind of driving the truck onto the car lot to trade it in, getting out, slamming the door and the truck just falls over.

Joking aside, I AM going to miss this truck. It has performed extremely well and has only broken down once in the 15+ years of owning it. It has been to every corner of Florida more than a few times and most of Georgia and Alabama. It pulled the travel trailer, my boat, and the BBQ trailer and I’ve slept in it numerous times. It’s hauled furniture, brush, bricks, lumber, tile, doors, flooring, dirt, shrubs, mulch, rocks, and the list just goes on and on. It even hauled an entire spiral stair case and a ballet dance floor. This truck owes me nothing. I almost wish that this truck could pull the fifth wheel. I would even treat it to an oil change.

Ok, so I’ve got a plan. I’ve thought about what type of RV might be best. I discussed what sorts of things I want in the fifth wheel and the size of the truck. I’ve now gotten rid of almost everything and I’m getting the house ready to sell. What could possibly be left?

So what is left? Well, how does anybody official (IRS, Jury Duty, Voting, Truck/Trailer registration, etc.) get in touch with me and what will that address be? It may sound pretty neat to be able say that my home is on wheels and I don’t have an address, but it doesn’t work that way.

Up next: How to live in a mailbox and what’s a domicile?

Chapter Three: Does it come with a Concierge??

I’ve been to a ridiculous number of RV shows and I’ve found that deciding on an RV is a cross between fit & function and is very personalized.

Fit means is it a good fit for me? Is it comfortable or not? Is the layout workable or is it clunky? Is it warm or kitschy? Is it utilitarian or flashy? Nowadays I can step into a rig and within seconds determine if I’m ‘feeling it’ or not. Some I would go into are very cold and stark while others would try for that suave, sweeping sexy look. Both having advantages and drawbacks. So for the fit portion it essentially boils down to, could I call this home and be comfortable?

Function or functionality which then gets broken down into sub-functions. Things like detail, workmanship, materials, storage space, tankage, weight, length, etc, etc. The list seems to go on forever.

Typically its simple things that start to take a rig downhill in my book pretty quickly. For instance, I’ve noticed that a lot of rigs don’t have a towel bar in the bathroom anymore. Now I know that that’s a very tiny detail, but I think that it’s the little ‘burr under the saddle’ that makes things a pain. Add up several of those and it really starts to become noticeable. I know I could easily fix those things, but I shouldn’t have to.

I read somewhere that an RV traveling down the road is analogous to a continuous mid-level earthquake. Bumps, rocking, swaying, jostling all work to loosen up joints in cabinets, walls, roof, flooring, etc. So if a cabinet is already loose in a brand new rig with zero miles, think of what it will look like after a few thousand miles of traveling! So that’s why I pay special attention to how cabinet joinery is accomplished. Is it stapled or does it have pocket screws and glue? Seeing staples in a cabinet door is an instant total red flag.

I’ve developed a list of items that I consider make/break in a rig. Seeing any one of those fall into the ‘break’ category means the rig gets exited immediately and not waste any further time on it. Of course a rig having all of the boxes checked off will often cost a ridiculous amount, or be so big that it needs a tractor to pull it. That’s why I’ve gone to numerous RV shows, haunted dealership lots, and surfed the internet for hours. Finding the perfect rig has turned into a quest and will hopefully pay off.

So what is the list of some things I look for? Well, since you asked:

  Less than 40 feet long (preferably in the 35 to 38 range)

  Can be pulled by a truck as small as an F-250 w/single rear wheels (weight limits)

  Generous storage area with separate space for generator/batteries

  Load range G tires

  No less than three slides (or if only two then the one in the living space had better be huge)

  Cabinetry that is glued/screwed, not stapled

  Doesn’t have a ridiculously tiny awning

  Rear ladder/rear hitch

  Interior and exterior LED lighting

  Solar pre-wire

  Generator pre-wire

  Motorized/automatic awning

  Slide toppers

  Pre-wire and pre-frame for second bedroom A/C (if not already installed)

  Roof area and layout that allows maximum solar panel layout (Space for 8-10 (12?) solar panels)

  No carpeting (or as little as humanly possible)

  Stove/oven NOT located in a slide (Every stove I’ve seen in a slide for some reason is very low)

  Space and pre-connects for a washer/dryer

  Rear kitchen floor plan (Very much preferred, but negotiable)

  Generous kitchen counter space (you’d be surprised at how small some I’ve seen are)

  Dedicated food pantry

  Convection/microwave oven

  Double stainless steel kitchen sink

  Covers for kitchen sink and stove

  Frameless dual pane windows (R factor and noise)

  Window day shades and night shades

  Queen bed, not king (king takes up too much space) with storage underneath

  Pull out sleeper sofa (for when Jess comes to visit)

  Generous bathroom space and a layout that isn’t a joke (you’d be surprised)

  A real stand-up shower that has believable headroom (yes, I actually stand in them to see)

  Residential fridge (although I can make good arguments for an RV fridge)

  Insulated for winter climes

  Self-leveling system

  Rear-view camera system

  Five step entrance

  Locking slam latches on external storage doors

  At least a group 24 deep cycle battery (prefer a group 27 deep cycle)

  No less than a 1000 watt true sine wave inverter (preferably a 2000 watt)

  Manufacturer that allows small changes in construction

  Manufacturer that has an in-depth factory tour (This may sound trivial, but it isn’t)

Sounds like a ridiculous list doesn’t it? However, most upper end units have about 80-90% of that list as standard features. Notice I say upper end units. I’ve found that there are basically four levels of RVs and range from super-duper cheap to oh-wow expensive.

The lowest level is what I call the ‘El-Cheapo Weekend Warrior RV’ that will only get used on a few weekends and maybe a week of vacation per year. They will end up being what I call storage lot queens. That’s where they are stored for 99% of the time and used only about 1% of the time. Typically they are very low quality and have a very low (if any) resale value. These would not stand up to full-timing at all.

The second level is what I call the ‘Luxury Weekend Warrior’. This is where the toy haulers and somewhat nicer cheap RVs are. These are still for the weekenders, but they have a few of the options that the nicer rigs have. These often will be storage lot queens also. These often will actually have some resale value, but still won’t stand up to everyday (literally) use.

The third level I call the ‘Full Timer Class’ and these RVs are mostly designed for full-timing. They are set up and built with the full-timer in mind. They are noticeably better built and with that come a better price. These approach the feeling of having your living room on wheels. Most of the appliances and fixtures will be residential grade and not the cheap plastic RV crap. This is the level where I am looking.

The fourth level is the super high end RV. They are either semi-custom or full-custom built and bring a very hefty price tag. These will often need the very biggest of passenger truck (think F-450) on up to a full blown semi-tractor to pull them. I even found a company that takes full size semi-tractor/trailer rigs and will build them out for personalized RVs. They are HUGE and demand an equally HUGE price. They’re fun to look at, but are way outside of my price range.

That about covers the fifth wheel, so what am I doing for a vehicle to pull my humble abode? Well, I initially started looking at Toyota Corollas, but quickly ruled them out as they didn’t come in my color. Wouldn’t that be a crazy sight, a fifth wheel squashing a tiny Toyota?

Anyway, back in the land of reality, I thought originally that I would buy a used truck that only had just a few thousand miles on it. This way I wouldn’t get hit with the depreciation of a new truck. However, there are a few problems with that idea.

1.       I very likely wouldn’t be able to get the options I want on it

2.       I would have to spend additional money to get an aftermarket 5^th wheel hitch installed ($$)

3.       I would have no idea as to how the truck was used (or abused) in its prior life

4.       No idea as to how the maintenance was kept up (or not)

5.       The truck would NOT have any warranty

That last item turned out to be the deal breaker. A warranty while on the road is extremely valuable and will be worth quite a lot. So I researched into new trucks and yes, they are expensive. However it did fix all five of the problems above. Actually, it ended up that the depreciation hit wasn’t all that horrible after all once all the factors were added in. Having that 5 year/100,000 mile warranty is worth a LOT of money in my mind.

Another big plus is that I can get a truck that is a bit bigger than what I actually need right now. Then if I decide to get a bigger and/or heavier 5'er (jargon, nice right?) later on, I already have a truck that can handle it. It also means that I’m not maxing out the truck all the time and wearing it out.

The other thing I found out is that it doesn’t cost one extra penny to order EXACTLY the truck I want directly from the factory. The only drawback is that I have to be willing to wait about three months to get it. Well, that’s no problem for me. I’ll just order it right around the end of November which should put delivery right around the end of February, right about the time I’m ordering the trailer. Huh, imagine that, the timing is almost like it was planned that way.

Sorry, this entry got too long, but it’s vitally important to get this part right.

Next up: Making the jump from traditional sticks and bricks house to full-time RV living

Chapter Two, Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe….

In the first chapter I came up with this hair-brain idea and tried to convey a little bit about why I want to go do this craziness. Well, in this installment I’ll go a little into what type of chalet-on-wheels I’m thinking of doing this in.

Before I get too far I need to spout a bit of a disclaimer. There are many different types, makes, and models of RVs and each person’s situation is different. So what works for one, may not work for another. I’m not even sure that my conclusions will be the right ones for me after getting on the road. In other words, these are my opinions and they work for me at this moment.

If you’ve been following along, you know that I’m going with a large truck and fifth wheel type rig. But even after thinking it all through MANY times, I’m still not sure it’s the right solution. I know for sure that it’s not the perfect solution. The problem is that I don’t think there is a perfect solution.

The biggest reservation I have with the truck/fifth wheel setup is what could happen when I’m out in the middle of nowhere and the truck breaks down? Now, the first thing anyone would say is, just make sure that you have top of the line roadside service (AAA, Coachnet, Good Sam, etc.) and you would be absolutely correct. I’ve already done a good bit of research into that very thing.

But, while the truck and trailer are towed into the shop, I’m down to traveling on a pair of sneakers or bicycle. Yes, if there’s a rental car place in the vicinity I could go that route, but a lot of small towns are many miles from the nearest rental car place. So that keeps bringing me back to the backup transportation issue and whether a small to mid-size Class A or very  large Class C with a toad (towed vehicle) would be a better transportation safety net solution.

So let’s look at Class C rigs. I’m always shocked at how small they actually are and how little interior AND exterior storage space they have. Yes, they have enough living space to go camping for a few days and maybe even a few weeks, but remember this will be my home for a long time.

They also have some other annoying little quirks about them. Like for instance in almost all of them the LP tank is hard mounted and cannot be removed for refill. So every time the LP tank runs out, I would have to take the whole rig someplace for a refill. Another is that I’ve never, ever seen a four wheel drive class C. So remote camping would be chancy at the very best.

There is a sub-class called Super C that is somewhat larger, but they push the weight loads on the chassis to the point where a toad may push it over the weight ratings. Besides, by the time I get into a super C, I’m only a very tiny step away from a class A. I’ve actually seen some super C’s that cost more than a small class A.

So even though I COULD make a class C work, it would be a large pain and I think I would wear it out pretty quickly with the weights and towing a car behind. Especially if/when I spend time in the mountains. Ultimately I just don’t think a class C is a really viable option.

So now let’s look at class A’s. Class A’s are nice, and have lots of external storage which is great and they can get super luxurious inside. However, gasoline class A rigs get unbelievably horrible gas mileage and tend to lack power in the low end (think hill climbing). Diesel pusher types fix the low end problem, but push the price tag up even higher. Then there’s maintenance on a diesel which is expensive and not the do-it-your-self type stuff. Not to mention that diesel fuel is more expensive than gas and can be harder to find in some places. Plus, they get expensive really quick.

To me, the biggest drawback to a class A is the expense. These suckers can get ridiculously expensive. By the time I get to one that has a nice floorplan and is big enough, I can’t afford it anymore. I would have to postpone my jump-off at least another two, three, or more years just to be able to afford a decent mid-line class A. That plus I just don’t think I would like driving one. They are very boxy and can’t possibly maneuver very well. I wouldn’t even think of taking one off road at all. There’s no such thing as a 4x4 class A so forget remote camping.

The other big problem with both the A & C type is that as soon as I put a toad behind it, I can no longer back up. To use reverse, I have to unhitch the toad, do whatever maneuvering that’s needed and then re-hitch. Yes, I know that I would plan my entry & exit from parking lots and such, but every now and then I would have to go through the hassle of all of that and probably while I’m blocking other people’s cars. Yeah, that sounds like a whole lot of fun.

That brings me full circle and right back to a fifth wheel and back to the original problem of a single vehicle.  I wish I had a really good answer for this but I don’t. I thought for a while that I might get a small motorcycle to use as emergency transportation and for off-road stuff. It’s still a possible option, but transporting it would be a problem.

So after all that, am I convinced that my choice is the right way to go? I wish. I wrestle with the issue of RV type at least once a month and every time I go to an RV show. I don’t think I’ll finally set the decision in concrete until I actually sign on the bottom line and take delivery. Even then I could change my mind after getting on the road.

Next up I’ll dive into what I’m looking for in a truck and fifth wheel.

Chapter One, You want to do WHAT??

Before this gets underway, I actually wrote these chapters many weeks ago, so some of the info may be slightly out of date, but I don't feel like re-writing it. So here goes...

Several entries ago I said that I would someday dive into the thoughts and ideas into this big right turn in my life. Well, no time like the present. 

So, why in the world would someone actually WANT to get rid of 97.45% of the stuff they own, pack what’s left into a shoebox on wheels, retire from work, sell the house, and go roam around the country? First, let’s do a flashback. Here come those wavy, smeary lines! Ahhhhhh…..

A long time ago I had this crazy idea that I was going to buy a big boat, sell off everything (99.45% to be exact), and go take a big lap around the Caribbean. It was to be south down the Bahama chain, down the windward and leeward islands all the way to South America. Then make a right turn over to Central America and work my way back north again along the central American coast all the way up to Texas and then east back to Florida. I figured it would take several years or more. Sounded great! After that, who knew?

Then I did a really stupid thing…. I started reading blogs.

I read blogs/logs of a whole bunch of people that were in various places and stages of running around the Caribbean and Central America and you know what? They all sounded pretty much the same and they went something like this:

Sail to an island, check in, find groceries, see the island, fix something on the boat, wait for weather, go to the next island, check in, find groceries, see the next island, fix something on the boat, wait for weather, repeat, repeat, repeat.

All they ever seemed to talk about was the checking in/out process, finding groceries, doing laundry, fixing the boat, and on, and on, and on. I also started noticing that none of them lasted for much more than just a year or two.

I get that during that time it would be different and start out as a lot of fun. But I noticed that the fun part seemed to dwindle away really fast. Not to mention that the vast majority never really traveled inland, so the experience of an area was within a mile or two of shore. Then it seemed that the vast majority ended up right back to where they started a couple of years later doing exactly the same thing as before! Some even went back to their old jobs! Now if that’s what floats your boat (pun intended), good for you. But that just wasn’t going to hack it for me.

Flash back to the present! (Wavy, wavy, smeary, smeary)

One option is/was to just stay put (Wow, I got nauseous just typing that). I mean it’s not like I haven’t already lived here for the last 50-something years of my life. I could stay in Mel-boring for the rest of my life and let my butt become one with the couch. I could continue to work until I’m 80-something and have lots of funds and nothing to do with it other than continually fix the house and spend money on stupid shit. Yuk-Pooey!!

Yes, I could travel and do the tourist thing, but I hate the tourists that are here. I very certainly don’t want to become one of them! I can see it now, me sitting in one of those tour buses being carted from one tourist stop to the next while listening to a canned spiel from a tourist guide. Oh yeah, that sounds like a whole bunch of fun. Not.

Don’t even get me started about cruise ships. Human soup in a can carted around and dumped off into tourist hellholes. Sounds almost like a theme here doesn’t it?

Then I started thinking about alternatives and I remembered that I liked camping (or ‘glamping’ as the case may be) and what I call the slow experience. We did the Washington DC trip a bunch of years ago and I really liked being in one spot for a few days to be able to spend some time exploring the area. The rig became a portable home to jump off from.

So, what if I were to slow that process down a whole bunch more and extend it waayyyy out? I mean really dig into places with no time restrictions. What if I were to take the time to meet some people, get the local flavor, or possibly even do some part-time work if it looks interesting or fun? Having a great time? Stay!! Doing something interesting? Hang out for a while! On the flip side, don’t like the view out outside the living room window? Change it!! Don’t like your neighbor? Leave!!

Who cares if I spend a month in the tiny town of Hye, Texas because I got a part time job at a bourbon distillery (Yes, it’s an actual place/job that looks like fun). What if I were to work a couple of seasons at Amazon? What if I were to drive up to Alaska one summer? Or go down to a Mexican beach for a winter? Or maybe take a summer job at Yellowstone Park? Or Grand Teton? Or Glacier? Or do some volunteer work?, or, or, or??? The list goes on forever. I could even find a spot somewhere with a glass of wine, watch tour buses go by and laugh (I actually did that once in France!).

Some places might take a whole season while others might only take a couple of days. I also would have some ‘down days’ whenever I wanted. I could spend a day or five reading, catching up on some chores, maybe throw something in the smoker, work on a doll house, etc. I could mix up the days any which way I wanted. If it takes me 10, 15, or 20 years to make it to all the places I want to go to, so what. I’m in no hurry whatsoever. I might even spend some time way out in the boonies where my nearest neighbor is five or ten miles away! Wouldn’t that be awesome?!

I could drive US-1 from end to end just for the fun of it. I could check out as much of Route 66 as I want. The possibilities just don’t stop. But, I can say that I will avoid interstate highways like the plague. I’m not the least bit interested in making good time. I’m far more interested in stopping for every interesting thing I can find! See the world’s largest spitball?? I’m in! A museum of mailboxes? Pull over! A river that needs kayaking, a pond that looks awesome for fly-fishing, a mountain that needs hiking, a valley that wants its picture taken, etc., etc.

Then someday, when I get to the point where I’ve had enough, I can look back and decide on a place that I really liked and go call that home. Maybe buy a small piece of land somewhere and become a gentleman farmer (I’ve always wanted a tractor). Who knows? The possibilities are endless and it’s a long way off. I’ll make that decision when it needs to be made.

Ah yes, one last little item to address, those dreaded blogs. They should shoot people who write blogs, uh wait……. Yes, I do read blogs from people that are currently out there full-timing. In fact, I read about 5-7 of them at any one time. I have to say that they are totally different from the ones from the sailing community. These people truly enjoy living this type of lifestyle and wouldn’t trade it for anything. Obviously nobody stays out there forever, but it seems that 99% of the time people come off the road due to health, age, or something along those lines. Not usually because of being tired of it.

So does that mean that every day on the road is all rainbows and unicorns? Absolutely not, people write about being stuck when weather is bad or something breaks down, or something planned didn’t turn out exactly the way they dreamed it. But that’s true with anything in life. Seems I remember something about living the good with the bad.

Ok, so now I have a very basic idea that’s taking shape into a plan. But, how do I start? What sort of rig would be right for me? What would the budget look like? How does my life operate while I’m doing this? I can’t believe that I can just up and walk away from everything and disappear. These and a whole bunch more questions I’ll talk about in coming chapters.

Up next, so what kind of shoebox would you do this in?